Jokes tagged #list

Jos mykkä kiroilee, pestäänkö häneltä kädet saippualla? Jos joku jakomielitautinen uhkaa tappaa itsensä, onko tilanne käsitettävä panttivankitilanteeksi? Kun kyltintekijät menevät lakkoon, lukeeko heidän kylteissään mitään? Mikä on toinen sana synonyymille? Miksi ei ole olemassa hiirenmakuista kissanruokaa? Mitä sinun pitäisi tehdä nähdessäsi uhanalaisen eläimen syömässä uhanalaista kasvia? Miksi jotkut yleiset vessat … read more

Ajaa kuin pulloperse sika Apea kuin kissa paskalla Auttaa kuin housuun kuseminen pakkasella Edestä kuin enkeli, takaa kuin mankeli Eihän tuolla naamalla voi muuta tehdä kuin kusta muuntajaan Elävät kuten porsaat pellossa Fiksu kuin nettinörtti Haihtuu kuin Aperita aivoista Haisee kuin rankkitynnyri Haisee kuin tuhkakuppi Hakkaa kuin korppi kalasäkkiä Halpaa … read more

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me up for that? Did I mention the video camera? Do you smell something burning? (In a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead... Try breathing through your nose. A little rug burn never hurt anyone! Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant? Sweetheart … read more

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it. Never underestimate the power of stupid people … read more

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but the bulb has got to really want to change. Q. How many software people does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, that's a hardware problem. Q. How many graduate students does … read more

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Horn broken, watch for finger. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. My kid had sex with your honor student. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished … read more

Teacher To get to the other side. Plato For the greater good. Aristotle It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads. Karl Marx It was a historical inevitability. Timothy Leary Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. Saddam Hussein This was an unprovoked act … read more