Jokes tagged #lawyer

Tue 11 January 2000

Lawyer Q&A

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water. Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? A: Never enough. Q: What's the … read more
Wed 08 December 1999

In a Brain Store

A man goes to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher: "How much for engineer brain?" "4 pounds per 100g." "How much for doctor brain?" "6 … read more
Mon 18 October 1999

Theft of a Roast

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if your dog … read more
Thu 14 October 1999

A Cold Morning

Two men are meeting on the street. "It was very cold this morning." "How cold was it?" "I do not know exactly, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets." read more
Thu 14 October 1999

Lawyer and Alligator

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure we do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and my alligator will have a lawyer." read more