Jokes tagged #pearly gates

Albert Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into heaven. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks … read more

Pyhän Pietarin pakeille oli pyrkimässa samaan aikaan kolme miestä. Pyhä Pietari valitteli ruuhkaa ja tilanpuutetta, sanoi viimein ottavansa sisään vain yhden kolmesta miehestä, sen joka oli kuollut kauheimman kuoleman. Pietari haastatteli miehiä yksitellen ja aloitti siitä, jolla oli ammottava reikä päässä. "Olin jo pitkään epäillyt vaimoani uskottomuudesta, ja kerran tulin … read more

Margaret Thatcher dies and strolls up the pearly staircase to the pearly gates, where she is confronted by St. Peter, brandishing a clipboard. "Name," says St. Peter. "Margaret Thatcher," she replies. St. Peter checks through all the lists on his clipboard but cannot find the name of the former British … read more

Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths. One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men". He took the path assigned to men. There were two more paths, one marked "Married Men", the other "Unmarried Men". Because Albert had been married he took the … read more

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in … read more