Published on Tue 11 January 2000
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a bottom-dwelling scum sucker and the other's just a fish.
Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
Q: What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery.