A Little Something to Think About
Published on Sun 15 August 1999
- Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
- To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
- The older you get, the better you realize you were.
- I doubt, therefore I might be.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
- Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- A fool and his money are soon partying.
- Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
- Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery.
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
- If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
- If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
- If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?