Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Published on Tue 31 March 1998

To get to the other side.
For the greater good.
It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx
It was a historical inevitability.
Timothy Leary
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
Saddam Hussein
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan
I forget.
Captain James T. Kirk
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Andersen Consulting
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Anderson Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy and implementation process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Anderson helped the chicken use it's skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chickens people, processes and technology in support of it's overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Anderson Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Louis Farrakhan
The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road for you to believe it?
Richard M. Nixon
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was the chicken doing wandering around all over the place anyway?"
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual security.
Bill Gates
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 (with integrated Internet Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Oliver Stone
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who is crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway
To die. In the rain.
Colonel Saunders
I missed one?

This joke was tagged #english and #list