What Men and Women Say and What They Mean

What women say and what they mean

Can't we just be friends? = There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of his body touch any part of mine, again.

I just need some space = without you in it.

Do I look fat in this dress? = We haven't had a fight in a while.

No, pizza's fine = Cheap bastard!

I just do not want a boyfriend now = I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now.

I don't know; what do you want to do? = I can't believe that you have nothing planned.

I like you, but = I don't like you.

You never listen = You never listen.

We're moving too quickly = I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

I'll be ready in a minute = I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will.

Oh, no, I will pay for myself = I am just being nice; there is no way I am going dutch.

I'm just going out with the girls = We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

There's no one else = I am doing your brother.

Size doesn't matter = unless I want an orgasm.

What men say and what they mean

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired = I'm tired.

I've gotta pee = Get out of the way.

I've gotta GO = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I get your coat? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Let me get your door. = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice Tits!

You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?

I love you. = Let's have sex now.

I love you too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

Good morning. = That was great sex......let's have more!

See you later. = That was great sex......let's have more!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair!

Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

Will you marry me? = I might as well get tax benefits for going through these "talks"

While shopping

Yes, that one's nice = Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway?

That one looks great on you = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I like that one better. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

Uh huh = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.

It makes you look fat = I'm really stupid!