What Is This?

Published on Thu 14 October 1999

This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 8 inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.

In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening will most surely recognize the rythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements.

When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opeing and some from its long, glistening shaft. After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.

What Is This?

As you may have already guessed, the answer to the riddle is none other than your very own...


What were you thinking?

This joke was tagged #english