You Are So Ugly!
Published on Thu 14 October 1999
- You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
- If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China.
- You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
- If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.
- You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit Happens.
- You're so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about birth control... your face will do just fine.
- You're so ugly, you could model for death threats.
- You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
- You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.
- You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection turns to stone.
- You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.
- You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet.
- You're so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your parents.
- You're so ugly, you stuck your head out of the car window and got arressted for mooning.
- You're so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.
- Your girl is so ugly, you gave her a hickey and got a mouthful of fur.
- You're so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
- You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock.
- You're so ugly, everytime your mother looks at you she says to herself, "Damn, I should've just given head."
- I know why you look like a horse, because I saw your mother grazing in the field.
- You're so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo - first I peeked, then I booed.
- You're so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.
- You're so ugly, they call you Taco Bell - when people see you they run for the border.
- You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
- You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring you in.
- You're so ugly, I took you to see the zookeeper and he said, "Thanks for bringing him back."
- You're so ugly, you mother had to get drunk before she breast fed you.
- You're so ugly, you went to a freak show and got a permanent job.
- You're so ugly, the police sketch artists are afraid to draw you.
- You're so ugly, when you get sick they call the vet.
- You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.
- You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.
- You're so ugly, everytime you go out you get chased by the dogcatcher.
- You're so ugly, when you jerk off your hand tries to fall asleep.
- You're so ugly, you can't hail a bus.
- You're so ugly, they call you Moses because every time you step the water parts.
- You're so ugly, you give Freddy Krugger nightmares.
- You're so ugly, they let you park in handicapped spaces.
- You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.
- You're so ugly, when you went to the zoo they refused to let you out.
- You're so ugly, you can't get a date off the calendar.
- You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor the doctors went on strike.
- You're so ugly, your last name is Link and your first is Missing.
- Your girlfriend is so ugly, OPP meas, "Oh, please, put it away!"
- You're so ugly, people put your picture in their car window as an anti-theft device.