What If Operating Systems Were Women
Published on Thu 14 October 1999
System 7 is like going out on a bad date. Your date is expensive and at the end of the night you don't even get a good-night kiss.
DOS is like going out with an ugly girl except you know what your up against, so you can work around it.
Windows is like going out with the same ugly girl but this time she is wearing make-up.
Linux is like going out with an ugly girl but you tell all your friends she is pretty.
Unix is like going out with a ugly girl but she is good in bed.
OS/2 is like going out with a beautiful girl but you have to be well endowed to get anywhere.
NeXT is like going out with a super model only to find out she speaks another language and only she knows that language.
VMS is like going out with your Mom.
Chicago is like going out on a blind date. All your friends hype her up and say that she is better than anyone else you have dated but in the end she turns out to be ugly.
NT is like trying going out with snobby girl. No matter how endowed and rich you are, it is not enough to get her to go out with you.