The Male Rules
Published on Mon 08 November 1999
- Women will speak only when spoken to or instructed to do so.
- Men have the right and the duty to point out PMS wherever and whenever they see it.
- Men have the right to tell a woman to take a Midol and leave.
- Men will call the day after if and only if they see fit.
- The man is always right; no questions or whining tolerated, ever.
- If a man says that she asked for it, she asked for it.
- All commands are expected to be followed without question or hesitation.
- Teasing is regarded as a serious offense and will be dealt with accordingly.
- Football games will not be interrupted for any reason without prior written consent from the man.
- The female will shop for groceries only and may not use a credit card.
- Shopping will be conducted only when absolutely necessary and then only under male supervision.
- Mood swings are not a justifiable excuse for anything.
- If any of the above rules prove inconvenient or undesirable for the male, they will be adjusted at his discretion without warning.