How to Handle Stress

Published on Mon 18 October 1999

  1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
  2. Use your MasterCard to pay your VISA bill.
  3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
  4. When someone says, "Have a nice day!", tell them you have other plans.
  5. During your next meeting, sneeze and then loudly suck the plegm back down your throat.
  6. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
  7. Make a list of things you have already done.
  8. Dance naked in front of pets.
  9. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to pre-school as if nothing was wrong.
  10. Thumb through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
  11. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in them. Return them the next day.
  12. Drive to work in reverse.
  13. Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
  14. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it gets back to you.
  15. Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.
  16. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.

This joke was tagged #english