How to Handle Stress
Published on Mon 18 October 1999
- Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
- Use your MasterCard to pay your VISA bill.
- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
- When someone says, "Have a nice day!", tell them you have other plans.
- During your next meeting, sneeze and then loudly suck the plegm back down your throat.
- Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
- Make a list of things you have already done.
- Dance naked in front of pets.
- Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to pre-school as if nothing was wrong.
- Thumb through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
- Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in them. Return them the next day.
- Drive to work in reverse.
- Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
- Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it gets back to you.
- Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.
- Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.