Atheist in the Woods

Published on Tue 14 October 2003

One beautiful morning an atheist was walking through the forest, admiring nature's beauties. He looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him, and he smiled. He saw the river glittering in the sun, and it made him warm inside. He thought to himself that mother nature had made a truly wonderful world.

The atheist walked a little farther down the path he had taken when suddenly a bear jumped out of the bushes only a few yards ahead of him. The bear looked hungry, it started growling and running towards him.

Seeing the big bear bounding towards him he screamed in horror and started running as fast as he could away from the bear. Knowing that the bear would catch him and he had no chance, the atheist soon ran out of breath and finally fell to the ground.

As the bear's shadow fell upon his face and his paws came down upon his chest, the atheist screamed, "Oh help me god!"

Suddenly the trees that he so much admired stopped swaying. The river he loved suddenly stopped flowing. And the sky opened up and a voice begun to speak, "I am god, and even though you don't believe in me, I am here for every being on this Earth."

The atheist felt relieved a little bit and asked God, "I'm sort of in this situation, I'm only asking if you could help me get out of it."

God thought for a moment and said, "I will give you one wish to help you and that is all, you may proceed with this wish."

The atheist thought about this wish for a moment and then spoke to God, "Well, I don't really want to become a christian, so I wish the bear to become a christian."

God spoke, "So be it done."

Suddenly the sky closed up. The river turned back into its flowing glory. The trees began to sway again.

And the bear clapped his paws together and said, "Thank you, God, for this meal I'm about to receive."

This joke was tagged #english