30 Fun Things to Do in the Elevator
Published on Fri 10 December 1999
- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you shut up!"
- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open up by themselves.
- Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Noogie patrol coming!"
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
- When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn, motion sickness!"
- Meow occasionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
- Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
- Show other passenger a wound and ask if it looks infected.
- Holler "chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
- Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of them!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Burp and then say "mmmm... tasty!"
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
- Say "Ding!" at each floor.
- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
- Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
- Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Wear X-ray specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.