You Know You Live in San Francisco When...

Published on Tue 04 February 2003

  • Your co-worker tells you they have eight body piercings - and none are visible.
  • When someone says "tenderloin" - you don't think steak. You think danger.
  • You make well over $100,000 and you still can't find a nice place to live.
  • You think anyone who drives a car to work is decadent.
  • You keep a list of companies to boycott.
  • You would never dream of crossing a picket line.
  • You take the bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
  • You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than California State Flags.
  • The guy who cuts your hair is straight, and your plumber is gay.
  • The woman who delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is gay.
  • Old friends you haven't talked to in years suddenly call and ask do you have a spare bedroom for a weekend?
  • You think anyone wearing a George Clooney haircut is visiting from the Midwest.
  • You can't remember... Is pot still illegal?
  • You go to your office manager's baby shower - the parent's are named Judy and Becky.
  • You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.
  • You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown, and are willing to fight about it.
  • A really great parking spot can move you to tears.
  • You prefer the Spanish Soaps on TV - the guys are much hotter!
  • You know that anyone wearing shorts in June is just visiting from Ohio.
  • A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotch less chaps. You don't notice.
  • You still can't believe a company doesn't offer domestic partner benefits.
  • You curse those damn tourists - but always stop to help a cute guy or gal who is looking puzzled at a city map.
  • When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".
  • Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"... it's the first time you have seen him nude.
  • Your child's 3rd grade teacher has a nose ring and is named "Breeze".
  • You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to the bay.
  • You are thinking of taking an adult ed class - but you can't decide between a Yoga, Channeling or Building Your Web Site class.
  • Your new neighbor goes to temple - but you are still not sure if they are Jewish or Buddhist.
  • You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Georgia.

This joke was tagged #english