Virus Jokes

Published on Wed 08 December 1999

AT&T Virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Paul Revere Virus
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack - once if by LAN, twice if by C:\.
Politically-Correct Virus
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Right To Life Virus
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a consultant about possible alternatives.
Ross Perot Virus
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.
Mario Cuomo Virus
It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Ted Turner Virus
Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates your session and then disappears. It'll be back.
Dan Quayle Virus
Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining a binary network.
Dan Quayle Virus #2
Thers sumthin rong wit yur komputer, butt ewe jsut cant figyour it out!
Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order Virus
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Gallup Virus
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (Plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)
Bobbit Virus
Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.
Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
Terry Randle Virus
Prints "Oh no you don't!" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort" "Retry" "Fail" message.
Texas Virus
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Adam And Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Congressional Virus
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline Virus
You're in Dallas, but your data ends up in Singapore.
Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.
PBS Virus
Your programs stop every few minutes asking for more money.
Elvis Virus
Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.
Ollie North Virus
Causes your printer to suddenly become a paper shredder.
Nike Virus
Just does it.

This joke was tagged #computers and #english