The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary
Published on Mon 23 September 2002
Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me.
She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday."
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember."
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday."
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."
We went to lunch.
We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go change."
"Sure," I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And there I sat... on the couch... naked.