Speeding Ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange.

Officer: "May I see your driver's license?"

Driver: "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI."

Officer: "May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?"

Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it."

Officer: "The car is stolen?"

Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there."

Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?"

Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk."

Officer: "There's a body in the trunk?!"

Driver: "Yes, sir."

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation

Captain: "Sir, can I see your license?"

Driver: "Sure. Here it is."

It is valid.

Captain: "Who's car is this?"

Driver: "It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card."

The driver owned the car.

Captain: "Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?"

Driver: "Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it."

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: "Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it."

Driver: "No problem."

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: "I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk."

Driver: "Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too."