Signs of Times

Published on Thu 13 June 2002

  • You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
  • You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
  • You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
  • Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
  • You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next-door neighbour yet this year.
  • Your Grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
  • You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
  • Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen.
  • You buy a computer and six months later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
  • Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have five years ago, is cause for panic.
  • Using real money, instead of credit or debit cards, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.
  • Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
  • Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
  • Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
  • Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-It notes.
  • You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
  • You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
  • You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
  • You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
  • You wake up at 5am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on your way back to bed.
  • You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
  • You're reading this.
  • Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone!

This joke was tagged #english