Life in Prison vs. A Full Time Job

Published on Mon 18 October 1999

In prison they spend the majority of their time in a 8'x10' cell.
At work, I spend most of my time in a 6'x8' cubicle.

In prison they get three meals a day.
At work I only get a break for one meal and I have to pay for that one.

In prision they can work out, read books, and play vollyball in the yard much of the day, for free, then relax in their cell.
At work, I don't have any time on my break to go to the library or gym.

In prison they get time off for good behavior.
At work I get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

At work I must wear an ID badge at all times.
In prison they provide you with clothing with the ID conveniently sewn onto the clothes.

At work there is a dress standard, but I must buy my own clothes.
In prison there is a dress standard, but they supply the clothes.

At work I must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors myself.
In prison a guard would lock and unlock all the doors for me.

In prison they can watch TV and play games.
At work I can get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they will pay my way through school to learn a new career and give me time to do it.
At work they will pay for my education but I must do it on my own time.

In prison I can fall asleep on the job and no serious consequences comes from my actions.
At work if I fall asleep on the job I get put on the next RIF list.

In prison they ball and chain you when you go somewhere.
At work I'm just ball and chained.

In prison they have full medical coverage with no deductibles.
At work, I get partial coverage and pay all the deductibles.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work I get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from my salary to pay for prisoners.

In prison they get their own toilet.
At work I have to share.

In prison they spend most of their lifes looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work I spend most of your time wanting to get out and... hey, where did those bars on the widows come from?

In prison there are sadistic wardens.
At work, we have managers.

In prison they allow their family and friends to visit.
At work I can't even speak to my family and friends.

This joke was tagged #english, #prison and #work