Hallmark Greeting Cards

Greeting cards unsuccessfully marketed by Hallmark

• Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one... I got real snippy.
• I heard you had herpes... and I feel terrible... I'd say "Get well soon"... but I know it's incurable.
• My tire was thumping... I thought it was flat... when I looked at the tire... I found your cat... Sorry!
• You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends... here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.
• You've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
• So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... look at the bright side, she's a really good lay.
• Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be... Don't fret about your wife though... She's moving in with me.
• Your computer is dead... and it was so alive... you shouldn't have installed... Win '95.
• You totalled your car... and can't remember why... maybe it was... that case of Bud Dry
• So you lost your job... It's one of those hardships in life... Next time, work harder... and stay away from the boss's wife.