God and the Village Idiot
Published on Sun 11 May 2003
One day God was hanging out at the Pearly Gates with St. Paul.
"I need to find someone to run for president," he said after a while.
Attentive to his boss' needs, St. Paul started naming off a few qualified candidates.
"Nah, I want that guy," he said pointing to a drunken Texas governor pissing off a balcony.
"You've got to be kidding," said St. Paul, "Not only is he dumber than a box of rocks, he's got drinking and drug problems."
"I don't care," said God, "This is the guy."
Perplexed, St. Paul asked, "What is the problem, Lord, art thou angry with the Americans?"
"No," said God, "I made a bet with the Devil that I could get a village idiot to run for president."
"But won't that work in the Devil's favor, oh Lord?" Paul asked.
"That's all right," said God, "he'll never take Florida."