Cool Pick-Up Lines

Published on Thu 14 October 1999

  1. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.
  2. Do you want to see something swell?
  3. Hey babe... do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
  4. Drop 'em!
  5. What do you like for breakfast?
  6. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
  7. Wanna fuck like bunnies?
  8. Say, did we go to different schools together?
  9. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
  10. I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laugh.
  11. Hi, my name is [your name], how do you like me so far?
  12. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  13. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
  14. Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
  15. At the office copy machine. "Reproducing, eh?" "Can I help?"
  16. Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
  17. I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels now!
  18. Hey babe... can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
  19. Hey babe... can you suck start a Harley?
  20. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
  21. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? Hey! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
  22. A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You, "Do you have the energy?"
  23. Hey babe, wanna get lucky!?
  24. Say mother, want another? (If she has kids.)
  25. Bond. James Bond.
  26. Do you spit or swallow?
  27. You look like the type of girl that has heard every line in the book... So what's one more?
  28. Your place or mine?
  29. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
  30. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
  31. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
  32. Your face or mine!?
  33. Are you ready to go home yet?
  34. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  35. When she asks for a match, say, "How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?"
  36. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
  37. I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
  38. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
  39. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  40. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
  41. I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
  42. I'd look good on you.
  43. Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
  44. I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.
  45. I would kill or die to make love to you.
  46. Sex is a killer... want to die happy?
  47. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
  48. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
  49. Hi! Can I buy you a car?
  50. Now, bitch!
  51. Fancy a fuck?
  52. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
  53. Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
  54. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  55. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
  56. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
  57. Was your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  58. Look at the tag in her shirt and say, "I want to see if you were really made in heaven."
  59. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
  60. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
  61. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Have you ever had your belly-button licked? (Yes.) From the inside?
  62. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
  63. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
  64. Hi, how are you?
  65. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
  66. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
  67. Hi, my name is [your name], I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
  68. I am a magical being, take off your bra.
  69. Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
  70. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk?
  71. Hold out two fingers and say, "Why should a women masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Because they're mine, sweetheart."
  72. I'm a hurdle, do you want to jump me?

This joke was tagged #english