Church Bulletins

Published on Wed 19 February 2003

Some churches are more fun than others. Believe it or not, these actually appeared in various church bulletins:

  • This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptised at both ends.
  • Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early.
  • Wednesday the ladies liturgy society will meet. Mr. Johnson will sing, "Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by the pastor.
  • Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the little mothers club. All ladies wishing to be little mothers please meet with the pastor in his study.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg at the alter.
  • The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
  • On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.
  • The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.
  • A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.
  • The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  • Tonights sermon: What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

This joke was tagged #english