28 Cruel Things to Say to a Naked Man

Published on Thu 27 April 2000

  1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
  2. Ahhhhhhhh... it's cute.
  3. Why don't we just cuddle?
  4. You know... they have surgery to fix that!
  5. Make it dance for me.
  6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
  7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
  8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
  9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
  10. Oh no... a flash headache.
  11. (Giggle and point.)
  12. Can I be honest with you?
  13. This explains your car.
  14. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
  15. Why is God punishing me?
  16. At least this won't take long.
  17. I never saw one like that before.
  18. But it still works, right?
  19. It looks so unused.
  20. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
  21. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
  22. Are you cold?
  23. If you get me real drunk first, then maybe...
  24. Is that an optical illusion?
  25. What is that?
  26. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
  27. Does it come with an air pump?
  28. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

This joke was tagged #english