28 Cruel Things to Say to a Naked Man
Published on Thu 27 April 2000
- I've smoked fatter joints than that.
- Ahhhhhhhh... it's cute.
- Why don't we just cuddle?
- You know... they have surgery to fix that!
- Make it dance for me.
- Can I paint a smiley face on it?
- Wow, and your feet are so big.
- It's OK, we'll work around it.
- Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
- Oh no... a flash headache.
- (Giggle and point.)
- Can I be honest with you?
- This explains your car.
- Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
- Why is God punishing me?
- At least this won't take long.
- I never saw one like that before.
- But it still works, right?
- It looks so unused.
- Maybe it looks better in natural light.
- Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
- Are you cold?
- If you get me real drunk first, then maybe...
- Is that an optical illusion?
- What is that?
- It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
- Does it come with an air pump?
- So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.